When faced with uncertainty, it is natural to seek some reassurance. Reassurance can aid in relieving apprehension, assuaging apprehension, consolidating a plan of action, or directing a decision.
People with sticky minds, on the other hand, can fall into what we call Reassurance Traps, where they are unable to accept uncertainties in certain situations. This can take the shape of excessive internet “research,” compulsive checking, and finally isolating others through incessant reassurance-seeking talks. They may try to deal by talking to themselves, but they become locked in a never-ending loop of internal “debates,” in which “what ifs?” and “logical responses” alternate.
The state of seeking reassurance
Being caught in a state of reassurance-seeking can result in decision-making paralysis, persistent fears of making a mistake or harming others, insecurity, and self-doubt.
It may appear that seeking comfort and double-checking facts is the best strategy to establish facts. However, persistent doubts demonstrate that certainty is an emotion, not a fact—no one can be fully assure of anything. Ordinarily, we dismiss common questions and uncertainties and move forth because we are “confident enough.”
The contrast of Unproductive reassurance seeking
Unproductive reassurance-seeking, on the other hand, is an endeavor to eliminate doubt, even though total certainty is impossible to achieve and unnecessary for making decisions, judgments, and actions. People with adherent minds can get caught up in worries about their intentions, identity, health, and sanity, among other things (as well as those of others). They are especially prone to persistent worries about the unknowable future and unanswerable questions that they imagine. Doubts that originate and are kept in the mind can never be satisfied by real-world verification.
How do we tackle the reassurance trap?
To avoid falling into the reassurance trap, a shift in mindset is required—a readiness to be conscious of feeling doubtful and to tolerate doubt and its discomforts.
Three primary mechanisms contribute to the difficulty of this task.
To begin with, the brain can make ambiguity appear threatening. When specific ideas activate fear circuits and alarm systems in the brain (amygdala—fight or freeze reaction), we experience an altered state of awareness known as anxious thinking. The world appears more dangerous, all risks appear irrational, and uncertainty appears to be a threat. Imagination appears to be real.
Second, your attempts to regulate your thoughts backfire due to paradoxical effort. The more you attempt to block out a distressing notion, the more it comes back. (Avoid picturing a pink elephant!) Attempts to divert, push away, fight with, reassure, or “obtain just one more bit of information” have the opposite impact of dispelling worries.
Finally, the process is propelled by negative reinforcement. Positive reinforcement (or a reward) has long been proved by psychologists to improve a specific behavior. Similarly, reducing unpleasantness–such as pain, worry, or anxiety–works in the same manner to reinforce responses. As a result, the anxiety relief supplied by useless reassurance promotes the worried thoughts that came before it. The tightening reassurance trap is triggered by the return of intense certainty seeking.
A word from the doctor —
A sign of OCD is excessive reassurance-seeking. However, it can be managed. You might benefit from therapy, medication, and self-care practices.
If you believe you may be suffering from OCD, seek help from a mental health expert.
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