When it comes to the brain, a broken heart can be no different than a broken arm.
Anyone who has been through a high school gym class knows the anxiety of being selected last for the dodge soccer team. The same hurt feelings arise when you get kicked out of lunch with a coworker, don’t land the job you interviewed for, or get dumped by a romantic partner.
Rejection is Annoying
For many years, however, few psychologists agreed on the importance of denial. “It seems like the entire field has missed out on this essential part of human life,” said Mark Leary, Ph.D., professor of psychology and neuroscience at Duke University.
This has changed over the past decade and a half as more and more researchers have turned to this uncomfortable fact of life. “People have realized how our concern for social acceptance pervades almost everything we do,” he said.
What is Rejection?
Rejection may be described as an act of pushing a person or something away. One can also revel in rejection from one’s circle of relatives of origin, a friend, or a romantic partner, and the ensuing feelings can frequently be painful.
Rejection may be skilled on a big scale or in small approaches in normal existence. While rejection is commonly part of existence, a few kinds of rejection can be extra tough to address than others.
A therapist or different intellectual fitness expert can be capable of assisting a person’s paintings and addressing rejection and the misery which can result.
Understanding the context of Rejection
Rejection triggers our internal fears and doubts approximately ourselves. The trick to going through rejection and now no longer letting it damage us is right down to our mindset toward rejection. If we see it as a shape of failure it’s far much more likely to affect us negatively than if we see it as a lesson to examine and a possibility to develop and flow forward.
When we cost and prefer ourselves, we own buffers that deliver us via existence and make us extra resilient to sadness, rejections, and failures. We are extra capable of positioning those poor studies into context. When a person rejects us, it enables us to remind ourselves that the man or woman doing the rejecting is not bigger than us or advanced in any way. Often, we automatically, and mistakenly, anticipate that if we get rejected via the means of a person, they may be by some means advanced to us. We sense inferiority and start considering how super they may be and the way vain we were.
It can pay to not forget that everybody has excellent and horrific characteristics. Someone rejecting you isn’t doing it due to the fact they may be bigger than you. They may also have doubts and fears about themselves. Rather, they may be rejecting you for or his/her non-public motives – those motives aren’t facts. They aren’t written in the ‘book of existence’ that states you aren’t a worthy man or woman.
It is simply a person else’s opinion. One man or woman on this whole planet. Of course, in case you preserve on getting rejected, it is possible that your self-worth isn’t very excessive and that your wondering is what leads you into a ‘self-pleasing prophecy.’
How do we deal with Rejection?
1) Remember that it was their opinion, not the facts, that led to the rejection. Don’t take it personally.
2) Rejection is a disguised blessing. Be philosophical about it, now you can find someone who will love you and admire your beauty and bring out the best in you.
3) Consider all the reasons they cheat on their friends. It helps to continue the affection. Write a list if that’s helpful.
4) See this as their downfall. They haven’t seen how awesome you are yet!
5) Find out. Sometimes we get constructive advice that can be used to improve ourselves. It does not mean that we are defective, but living and learning is the right thing to do.
A word from the doctor—
Rejection doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It just means that together you were not made for each other. It’s okay to feel sad because things don’t go your way, but you shouldn’t blame yourself and look for faults within yourself.
Give yourself time, believe that everything happens for a reason, and know that in a moment you will find the joy of living again. Do not take rejection as confirmation that you are not good enough. Instead, see it as a natural part of life and learn to love and nurture yourself.
And if you need any further assistance with your mental health and wellness, then contact Dr. Corrielus right away!
